Wedding Wednesday: 94 Days

It came as a bit of a shock to discover I have not written anything about wedding plans when it seems I have been doing something for it every day. It came as a surprise when the days left were 100 – and now we are in the final stretch! Although some of do by dates for a few items had to change I think my daughter is on track. We did not factor in her getting sick!

Her wedding dress fitting, which will take at least two visits, had to be changed. The first to figure out how to shorten an A-line dress with a scalloped hem. There can absolutely be no seam across the front. Fortunately the back section does not need any alterations other than two buttons for bustling. (Or something) A friend of hers helped with photos the other day to show the shoes she will most likely wear. The dress still looks lovely on her, albeit still too long despite the 4″ heels. I keep worrying about the height of those heels onboard a boat.

I cannot show the wedding dress so here is the sheath of mine. I hope I have enough time to bring it in – cannot work on it until the week before the wedding with it in Kingston and me in Victoria!

In addition to changing the fitting, my daughter also had to change a meeting with the vendor coordinator. No need to spread cold germs. Perhaps feeding her garlic a week before the wedding will ensure she will not get sick. (She is s nurse, part of the job) Timelines are now being given more attention – vendors tend to need booking by now and larger chunks of money paid. I shudder to think what it must be like in larger cities where everything is written in stone. I made the mistake of making a list yesterday of what still needs to be done, I nearly had a yikes moment. Little bites at a time.

One of those bites is of course what guests will eat. It has been a long time since I had to plan anything for 50+ guests, and I am quite sure my daughter never had to consider 90 to feed. She had one very helpful co-worker assist with numbers and dollars to come up with a menu and enough food. The one worry was maybe too many platters and not enough of each. At times I wonder if I am overstepping my role as MOB; this meant that making suggestions to cut or replace items, and have fewer choices mad me thinking I was out of place. However, as with so many things, a second pair of eyes is always a good idea. I may have even managed to cut the cost by $400-$500.

Not that I expect there will be anything left over once everything is added up. Thank goodness my only job is to forward expenses paid, and to pay, to another daughter to input in a spreadsheet. The Knot, a great site for brides, does have a budget page and it appears some items have already been added, but none of us are accountants so money issues tend to be a bit hit and miss at times so long as there is no running out of it! It truth, although not written down anywhere it seem the bride is pearly in control of the purse strings.

I took charge of the centrepieces in Jan/Feb, managing to buy nearly everything needed for the bride’s vision. There was only moment of panic when she asked for another photo of the mock up I did, she thought it had too much purple in it. Or, the wrong purple. She has assured me that everything is good, and she will have a better idea once her sister visits in April. Some of the flowers and lights had to be purchased in Waterloo. Now to find nine more bags of blue glass beads. I am hoping they will show up at one of the stores in Kingston – the stones I bought are getting heavy!

At my end of the country I was happy to finally book a one way flight for my youngest daughter and a Via Rail ticket. The latter was a headache because I booked that for the wrong date. Despite all my attempts the fee was not forgiven. This was new to me – I never had to pay a fee for making Rail changes before. Only my sister has a return flight so I booked morning Via Rail tickets for both of us to have time to see Toronto. She has never been there. If I can fit in Casa Loma I will be happy. If not, I will most likely be staying in the city at least one night with my two daughters who do not live in Ontario. Which means I keep checking Via’s Discount Tuesday’s for cheaper tickets on July 3rd. I am nearly at the realization this will most likely not happen. Regular price, yes. Ka-ching. (Not my dollars)

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Wedding Wednesday: 122 Days

Planning a wedding is a little like pregnancy. There is no rushing things then all of a sudden there is little time left and so much to still accomplish. However, unlike most pregnancies, the wedding is pretty well set in stone. Venues need to be discussed, and usually nailed down with a small retainer as early as possible – just try waiting until spring when planning a long weekend summer wedding. Although, come to think of it, two potential alternates were available if the paddle wheeler plan sank. Fortunately that was only a tiny possibility with everything quickly patched up. As the days continue to count down the much larger chunk of change looms to keep the venue.

Of course this also means checking and rechecking the guest list. With that second payment it is important to have an idea of the number of guests who will be in attendance. Which also means seeking a friendly way to track down anyone who has not responded. However, when an RSVP by is on the invitation when is it appropriate to begin a follow up? Who does the following up? Some wedding research indicates it is expected that roughly twenty percent of the invitations will be declined. Of course I did not read that it is a good idea to invite at least ten percent more to make up for those declines until I started to write about this! As if my daughter is not busy enough she now has to remind her fiancé to come up with his work related list, including full names, spouses and mailing addresses as well as doing her own local list. From what my daughter has intimated there are probably at least 10-12 more possible guests. I am standing by my estimate of 88 guests including the wedding party. Today is the deadline for those invitations. Not that this helps with the no responses.

My self-made role is to be her Personal Assistant – I have a little more time, am generally quite organized, and can act as her gentle (pretty sure at times she thinks pushy) reminder. She likes it when she can cross items off her list. A list that has to be worked around her busy work schedule, various appointments, and of course her family – including her teenager. As March approaches much has been accomplished. Which is important to acknowledge. With the dress and venue chosen early everything else should just fall into place, and despite some bridal party dress hiccoughs, this is the case. Two dates are set for alterations to the wedding dress. The first for raising the lace to shorten the front hem. The second for any fitting issues. Which must mean a third appointment to fit in a final fitting. I wonder if I will be there by then. I seem to recall this is usually done very close the the actual wedding date. How frightening!

Shirts and ties were selected for the groomsmen. All I know for the groom is that everything seems to be taken care of. A photographer has been booked. My daughter was fortunate to arrange for her win of engagement photographs to be switched to cover some of the photographer’s fee instead. It sounds like they had a great discussion, with the photographer making suggestions as to how the cost can be kept fairly reasonable. Hair, make-up, possibly even nails, have also been booked. (I may seriously consider taking advantage of these if possible – as one of the MOBs I want to look nice) Several vases, and glass pieces, were purchased. These must be bought in Kingston, there is no way I could carry thirty plus fish bowl 🐠 vases on a plane! (Just a little hint of decorations – after all, the wedding is on a boat) We keep cleaning out the stores for the DIY centrepieces so my daughter has to go back to buy more. Even chair sashes have been discussed! That was a yes. A room for the bride and groom has been booked. My daughter has chosen family and thriftiness over ostentatious. Many of us will be staying at the university. Funny note, my daughter who graduated with an MA from there will not be!

Of course, at times it does seem that crossing off one item, or moving it to another list, only makes room for something else.

Trains booked!

Travelling in China is a challenge even if you are from there – unless you have a private driver or someone to do all the legwork for you. Factor in a major holiday when millions (that is plural) will be trying to get to, or away from cities at the same time and it is amazing the train, bus, and airline systems do not crash.

Booking trains is a test of patience, tickets are generally only available 30 days before your proposed departure date. Even if you manage to find tickets they are often not what you want. For instance, an overnight sleeper is so much more comfortable than a hard sleeper. If however, you end up having to book a hard sleeper because you were asleep in your comfy bed in your home country when everyone in China was madly booking the soft sleepers, do try to snag a lower berth. Keep in mind though that you might be fending off what may seem like rude strangers trying to take over your space if you are not actually occupying the bed. It is not uncommon for people in the middle or top berth to hang out on the bottom berth. So make friends, have a picnic, laugh with newfound friends. (If on a strictly overnight train then everyone will most likely go straight to sleep)

Back to booking when Chinese citizens have the advantage of a time zone ahead of yours. I know there are intrepid souls who want to go it alone – “he who thinks himself…is a great fool” – so I give this warning, be prepared to be infinitely patient when attempting to book in the month before a holiday! With that in mind, and having a fairly good understanding of how the rails system works, I chose to once more book through an agency. Let them deal with finding the seats and sleepers for my dates, or come up with alternatives for me to choose from. All I had to do was send my itinerary along with the type of train, and seats, I wanted. They sent back a quote, including their fees, payment options and extra information – I only had to send the money! I used China Highlights because I already knew they come through. Heck, they even pick up errors in dates – mine. 

As for the third leg of my trip, Hanoi to Nanning; Nanning to Sanjiang, and beyond…..I am hoping with the holiday over I will not be “a great fool” by doing my own bookings. Besides, I have been down that track before.

Pushing My Buttons: or why my BP goes up

First, I should make it clear that I do not think my blood pressure did go up. Of course I chose to not check it. As I grow older I am also far more mellow than when I was younger, raising children and juggling all the unnecessary stuff that made up my life. Slough off much of that and everything seems just that much easier. It might not be, but it feels like it. Then every once in a while I hit a roadblock. Or, in this case a derailment.

Not to worry, it was a figurative one. After spending far too much time working on an itinerary that will give me time to actually enjoy each place I visit, I booked my train passage for the first leg of my trip. I had every intention of booking this time with travelchinaguide.com a dollar (USD) cheaper than chinahighlights.com and far more information to glean ideas from. However, I found some challenges with their payment request. Little did I know that their competitor also requires a copy of the ‘payer’s passport’. In other words, although it is me paying, me going, but not my PayPal account I would have to ask the person whose account I am using to send along a photo of their passport. 

National Day crowds I am hoping to avoid – one of Shanghai’s three train stations

I realize someone is under the impression this is for security measures. I just do not see it. Therefore, after checking out chinahighlights.com -I used them last year – and finding nothing to suggest any difficulties, I booked and paid through them. Except the app used seemed to only Book one trip at a time. Which then seemed to be booked – but not yet paid – and an email was sent with a booking number along with a request for money. I sent a message to cancel it. 
Back on track using the website, four trains booked, paid for through PayPal using my debit/visa, no need for anyone to do it on my behalf. Except this time all I received was a PayPal receipt. No booking number, no confirmation, nothing. I started to panic. I thought my money was lost in the ether. Finally, about three hours later, I received a message (I had sent an email) that the money was received and my tickets would be ordered. Except….did I really want to leave Shanghai on May 20th? Oh my goodness! Am I glad some bright individual caught that.
Not my ticket, but look at all that information!

So, happy with the agency I used, still unsure if they need a photo of my passport for proof of purchase – the cancelled app order asked for it , but the main order there was no mention. So long as I have four train tickets to pick up in Sep no problem.
Shanghai to Suzhou; Suzhou to Nanjing; Nanjing to Huangshan (this was a test – I told my daughter Hangzhou); Huangshan to Shanghai. All for 165.67 CAD